Frequently Asked Questions
So why are you doing this?
I don’t know why I have a lot of bizarre thoughts and ideas racing through my mind, but I have a lot of bizarre thoughts and ideas racing through my mind. Maybe posting them on the internet will help me sort them out?
Is it that whacky tobaccy?
I do partake in cannabis, but I’ve had these bizarre thoughts and ideas even when sober! So you’d be wrong.
What are your influences?
When I was a kid, I grew up on a lot of Nickelodeon shows. However, these Nickelodeon shows were the biggest influence for me:
* Double Dare
* Wild & Crazy Kids
* What Would You Do?
* You Can’t Do That On Television
* Don’t Just Sit There!
* Total PANIC!
But I also watched similar shows in that same vein on other channels, like Fun House and College Mad House. Reruns of The Gong Show also inspired me, and made me realize that being awkward on camera like Chuck Barris shouldn’t hold me back from doing what I want to do.
It was a different time. You didn’t have endless streaming services, YouTube, or more than 40 cable channels.
So… no one stays clean on this channel?
Correct! (well, at least for most of it – I do have some ideas where everyone stays clean)
What is the overall theme you’re trying to convey with all this weirdness?
As adults, we’re told that cleanliness is what matters. When we were kids, it was OK to get dirty and messy.
In these times, sometimes us adults have to step back from everything that’s going on with this world and have fun, where the rules are thrown out the window.
But weren’t adults getting messy on those shows being humiliated?
Not necessarily! Sometimes, it was. Most of the time, the adults were thrilled to do so! I think it expounds on my last question. Sometimes you just have to let loose and have fun!
Do you have a “signature” idea that you showcase?
Yes! And it’s probably the strangest one.
I call it the “Pedissert.” See the special FAQ section below for that.
The Pedissert
I’m afraid to ask… what is a “Pedissert?”
Inspired by a scene from a Nickelodeon show from my childhood, I paint. But my media isn’t paint, markers, etc. My canvas also isn’t your normal canvas…
…my media are 10 colorful whipped cream pies, and my canvas is a woman’s bare feet.
I record the process, and I take before/after pictures to display here.
I’m even more afraid to ask what inspired you…
When I was a kid, there was a Nickelodeon show called What Would You Do? It was hosted by Marc Summers (who also hosted Double Dare), and it put members of its studio audience into some really crazy situations.
This show was also known for its gratuitous use of whipped cream pies. Whether it was just a standard pie in the face, or a device like the Pie Pod/Slide/Wash, no one was walking away clean.
The specific scene that inspired me? In one bit from an early episode of the show, a kid was asked to identify his mother from one of three women. The catch? Only their feet were visible to him. If he got it wrong, he was going to the Pie Pod; but if he got it right, he got to give his mother a pedicure… with a whipped cream pie.
He got it right, and I’ve been broken in many ways for decades.
So how did this inspire you?
Sometimes, you just never know what random thing you see will etch into your mind. A woman’s feet getting pied instead of her face? That doesn’t make sense at all! It just looked so weird, yet there was something strangely fun and innocent about it, especially with that 1990’s mom aesthetic.
It doesn’t help that only less than half the episodes of the show are floating around YouTube (including this one), and rights issues will probably keep it lost from streaming services forever. If you didn’t tape it, you remember it, but you can’t relive it – unless you take the initiative to relive it yourself.
But isn’t 10 pies a little overkill?
The human has 10 little piggies – I want to make sure every little piggy gets a pie.
How did you come up with the name “Pedissert” anyway?
It’s a portmanteau (for you kids, that means “mashup”!) of the words “pedicure” and “dessert.”
How do you make these pies?
I make them basically like I would for a “pie in the face” pie, but with some differences because of the aesthetic I’m looking for.
For each pie, I start with a graham cracker crust (or a frozen crust.) You do have to bake frozen crusts for a little bit before filling them, so a graham cracker crust will work if you need to save a little time. I prefer 10″ crusts (as I can safely pie both feet at once), but 9″ crusts will do as well.
For the filling, each pie is filled with one 8 oz. tub of Cool Whip (or store-brand whipped topping) that is mixed with about 1/3 can of whipped frosting (any brand will do) to provide extra stickiness.
I mix different batches of Cool Whip and frosting in separate bowls, which I then color, each with a different color of gel food coloring (I prefer Americolor for this.)
I then randomly dollop the different colors of filling into the crusts, and then gently swirl with a toothpick or fork. DO NOT STIR! You’ll overmix the cream into a grayish color.
The pies are then placed in the fridge, and pulled out of the fridge ~30 minutes-1 hour before it’s time to start the Pedissert.
I’ll probably make a video about how to make these pies soon if people are interested.
Are these pies edible?
Yes! But if you ate them, you’d probably get diabeetus faster than you can say “Wilford Brimley!”
I essentially treat it as if I’m making a pie to go in your face. Some of it might get in your mouth, so you don’t want it to taste bad.
Why specifically women’s feet?
In addition to the fact that it was a mother’s feet getting pied that inspired (or broke) me, men’s feet make me want to vomit.
Source: am man. Have feet. They make me want to vomit.
How many of these Pedisserts do you want to give?
100! I know it sounds ambitious, but it’s good to have goals!
If you could give any celebrity a Pedissert, who would it be?
I’m sure you’re expecting me to say Addison Rae? I mean, we’ve all seen the “Diet Pepsi” video…
But my actual answer would be AEW wrestler Harley Cameron. She’s a lovely, multitalented human who is a bit unhinged (in a good way!) She seems like the type of person who’d be up for this.
OK, I’m sold. How do I become one of the 100 women to get the Pedissert treatment?
Good question!
We’re looking for women in the age range of 25-45. We are flexible on those ranges, but definitely no humans under 18.
You don’t need to have any experience being on camera, and being awkward like me is not a disqualification. The big thing we’re looking for is vibes. Do you have that vibe to do something this bizarre?
If you choose to participate, you will be well-compensated for your time. It is a pretty basic shoot, and should only take 1-2 hours.
I understand your concerns about safety, so you are free to bring a friend if you so choose. Nothing will be done without your consent. I will only ask you to sign a standard release form to use the photos/videos taken from the shoot.
We do full-body shots for the video to gauge reactions to the strangeness of this whole thing. However, if you wish to protect your privacy, you can wear something like sunglasses or a facemask. We only use first names in the video for this same reason, but you are free to use a different name in the video if you so choose.
We’re looking for women from the following areas that are within a 1-2 hour drive of our studio location:
Tennessee: Nashville, Knoxville, Chattanooga
Alabama: Huntsville, Birmingham
Georgia: Atlanta
If this all sounds good to you, you can e-mail us at artisticabsurdities@gmail.com, and we’ll try to get something set up!